So, recently i spent a lot of time looking back and thinking about all the things that have gone both wrong and right in my 18 years of life, and eventually decided to put my mishaps and my successes to good use and create ten top tips for my peers and perhaps even some superiors.
1. If you don't feel good about it, DON'T DO IT. No matter what it is it's not going to be good if you don't feel right about it, whether it's something like going to the park or if it's something like having sex. It doesn't matter how pitiful or how major the thing is. If you change your mind that's fine, just remember that it's your choice, don't feel peer pressured into doing something.
2. Use your time productively, i know this is easier to say than to do, but trust me as someone who barely scraped into University being productive is something i wish i had been. Yes, take down time, watch a movie, go crazy and hang with your friends but don't do it too often and make sure your homework is completed before you do. You'll instantly regret it if you don't. Procrastination is all fine and well but when you realise that the piece of work you put off doing would've been really helpful for the test you're having you'll regret it wholeheartedly.
3. Listen to your parents. This is one of the most cliche things to say but really, you'll thank me later on in life. Parents always have good advice from who you're dating to who your friends should be. I know i made a huge mistake with one of my friends when i was younger and my parents knew it was wrong but i still went and did it, now looking back i really wish i'd taken their advice and saved myself a whole load of time. Older siblings are also really good with this kind of thing, especially when it comes to school. Don't pass up free advice just because you don't think it's necessary at that time because at some point sooner or later it will be necessary.
4. Be who you are, even if you don't think others would be comfortable with it. I don't pretend to know how people who are still yet to come as as being homosexual, or transsexual etc. feel but i do know that i'd rather see the true person than the person who they're pretending to be and masking themselves behind. If a person cannot handle the true you then you shouldn't have to handle them.
5. You won't always get everything you want. Unless your parents are extremely rich there's a high chance that you won't get everything you want. You want a laptop, camera, phone and clothes for Christmas? You might get three out of the four. Circumstances change, and unfortunately modern times have led to more redundancies and 'laying offs' than ever before meaning there's more chance of your mother or father no longer being able to keep their job, or if you have a job there is a possibility that you'll lose it. Like my mum has told me since i can't remember how long ago "Money doesn't grow on trees".
6. Tell your friends and family you appreciate them and love them every so often. Growing up i realise i never told the people i cared about that i was appreciative of them being there for me, i didn't tell my family i loved them and i definitely didn't tell my friends i loved them. When i got a new and better lot of friends i realised that this was wrong, and now i tell them and my family i love them on a regular basis. Which probably sounds ridiculous and clingy but you need to let people know that value and cherish the people in your life, and that they do mean the world to you, because good friends always should.
7. Bathe. I've gone through what feels like a centuries worth of mandatory education and in every year there has always been someone who smells like they haven't bathed in a while, and while i don't like to offend or point it out it's not pleasant for people around them. So try not to be that person and well... wash, at least three times a week.
8. Don't take advantage. Things that you expect to come to you, the food you eat, the shelter you'r living in and the water you drink, should never be taken advantage of. Others don't have these things and the fact that for so many years before i would almost exploit these simple things makes me hate myself that little bit more. Possessions, are just one of the things you shouldn't take advantage of, people are the second. It disgusts me that there are people in this world who take advantage of others. Just don't do it. Appreciate the little things in life, from the new album you bought to the voice your mother uses when she tells you to get to bed, there's a chance that at some point they won't be there one day.
9. Try and make time. There's no such thing as a 'too busy' schedule. I have a friend who spends hours and hours every day after sixth form doing different clubs and classes and still manages to text me back or Facebook message me. Social Media was invented so that people could keep in touch with one another when they can't be face to face. However, it isn't an excuse to never go and see your friends or family. You should always at least try and see the people you love. They'd do the same for you. I don't mean 'try' i mean try. There's no reason why you can't set aside five minutes in a day to face time or Skype or message your friends/family.
10. Laugh. Laughing is as they say 'the best medicine'. It can get people through the worst of times and encourages some of the best of times. It produces endorphin's that are known for the happiness you feel and that's what people need. Happiness. Many people go through periods of time where they feel distressed, depressed and over all unhappy. Many people feel it for longer than others and are in fact diagnosed with mental conditions, such as depression because of the lack of happiness. But laughing helps, or at least that's what is thought to help. Everyone in this world deserves happiness, even the worst of people should at least be a little happy. It's a human right, it's a necessity of life.
11. Ignore people who can't accept you as who you are. There will always be people around who cannot accept who you are or as they are more commonly known 'haters'. Don't let them get you down and definitely don't let them change you into their ideals. Society is fraught with people who expect a certain look and attitude from people and drags down those who don't conform to that. People who are different to the social norm are looked at in a negative light and it doesn't help people be more positive about their life and how they chose or don't chose to live it.
Extra special number 12. Talk to people. You wouldn't know how many times I've gone through something on my own that I've really struggled with and thought i should talk to someone, from being bullied to my own self-harming problem. But i didn't, well in the case of my self-harming not for a while, but once i was able to talk to someone i felt better, stronger and i think it's what is helping me to stop, to carry on without something i needed. People are always prepared to talk to you, whether it's a family member, a friend or just a stranger in the street. People want to help.
Below I've posted the websites and in some cases numbers to helplines, to services which can help in specific categories. Keep them, you never know when you or someone you know will need them.
Family Problems:
Family Lives
Support Line
Parenting
Get Connected
Barnardos
Elder Wisdom Circle
Suicidal:
United Kingdom - 08457-90-90-90
America - 1800-7848-433
Ireland - 44-0-8457-90-90-90
Canada - 519-416-486-2242
Spain - 91-459-00-50
Mexico - 525-510-2550
France - 01-45-39-4000
Germany - 0800-181-0721
China - 852-2382-0000
Russia - 8-20-222-82-10
Poland - 52-70-000
Denmark - 70-201-201
Finland - 040-5032-199
Norway - 47-815-33-3000
New Zealand - 4-473-9739
Sweden- 031-711-2400
South Africa - 0981-322-322
Thailand - 02-249-9977
Switzerland - 143
Brazil - 21-233-9191
Italy - 06-705-4444
India - 92-22-307-3451
Egypt - 7621602
Holland - 0900-0767
Japan - 3-5286-90-90
Philippines - 02-896-9-91
Cyprus - 357-77-77-72-67
Argentina - 54-0223-493-0430
Grief Support:
America- 1-650-321-5272
United Kingdom - 0800-9177-416
Sexuality Support:
Support Line
America - 1-800-246-7743
United Kingdom - 01708-7565200
LLGS - United Kingdom - 0300-330-0630
Eating Disorders:
America - 7-847-831-3438
United Kingdom - 01494 793223
Beat
Men Get Eating Disorders Too
Young Minds
Overeaters Anonymous
Sexual Assault and Rape:
America - 1-800-656-4673
United Kingdom - Rape Crisis Centre - 01708-765200
- Female - 0808-8000-123
- Male - 0808-8000-122
Rape Crisis
Domestic Violence :
United Kingdom - 0345 023 468
America - 1-800-799-7233
This is Abuse
Alcoholics:
America - 1-888-554-2627
United Kingdom - 0300-123-1110
Alcohol Concern
Drug Abuse:
America - 1-800-662-4357
United Kingdom - Frank - 0300-123-6600
Drug Penalties in the UK
If there are anymore that could be added, please don't hesitate to tell me about them and i can add them to the list.
Thank you all very much for reading. I hope this helps you and gives you the advice that you need as well as perhaps even some encouragement to get help and to go along with my eleven tips. As well as the numbers and websites above, if anyone ever needs to talk to someone you can get in touch with my through the links below.
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